is there anyone out there cos it's getting harder and harder to breathe

week 3 of school and im trying to keep my neck above the water.
it has never been a question of going the whole way.
i did my honours declaration in year 2.
yet the new school term hit me like a trans-siberian highspeed train and left me reeling.

there is no easing-in period.
yes grace, no more cruising.
no more last minute work and smoking my way through a class of 4
no more skipping of readings.

its not just a waddle in the pool, oh none of that bs.
hell i have to freakin synchronize swim now!

i cant help but allow that horrible parasitical bit of self-doubt to creep in
i repeatedly question my decisions, i viciously deflate my self-esteem, i wallow in my lack of tenacity and ultimately the gift of intelligence

am i really capable of taking on my honours year?
do i really know why im doing what im doing and why am i here in the first place?
am i supposed to be somewhere else?

questions questions questions.


is this a phase of the mind's wanderlust?
or a permanent state of fragmentation

i dont think i'll ever be the same again.
the soul has taken off and gone somewhere hopelessly far and perhaps out of my grasp.
i gotta work with whatever thats left of me.

so yep, back to work!


let it die - feist

the usual suspect said::

which way to happy?

the usual suspect said::

gracie lou freebush
miss artful dodger
1986
st.nicks/cjc/nus theatre studies
//
Let each man exercise the art he knows.
Aristophanes

The drama is not dead but liveth
and contains the germs of better things.
-william archer

• mar
• sab
• vic
• vern
• cole
• e*an
• isaac
• bryanboy
• thesuperficial
• thesartorialist
• perez hilton
• sea of shoes
• karlascloset
• anonymousworks/

is this the real life?
is this just fantasy?
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality
open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
-queen

skin by lomographylove[:
inspiration: 001