can somebody kindly inform me when is an insomniac's bed time?

highlight of the day:
taxitaxitaxitaxitaxitaxitaxitaxitaxi
i likeeee
thank god for dvd renting
and a considerate $1 overdue charge that im bound to cough up
wad can i say?
its luc besson!

*

oh dear
now im waxing poeti-cal

melancholy shadows me in the deep of the night
i take thee, mr richard ashcroft as my aural lover
crushed magnolia coax the teasing lids to meet
still i am but here bemoaning literary

*

i like the chinese proverb of a boat cruising straight naturally when it reaches a bridge
here's a lousy tip
in my zen mental restoration/consolation/self-deceit moment as i find myself in deeply unsettling or knee-high-in-shit situations
i take a deep breather and repeat the 7 syllabus proverb
feel free to say it a few more times to achieve effectiveness


everythings gonna sort itself out in due natural course
as long as the river still flows
we're gonna reach that bridge
and the course will set itself straight

naturally of course.


my ramblings are as fragmented as my sleep deprieved brain circuits.

really
oh dear




why do lovers - richard ashcroft

the usual suspect said::

ive seen the dresser starring the delightfully english adrian pang on saturday
then the outrageously campy colourful and censorship pooh-poohing cabaret on sunday
fei xiang was wickedly entertaining as the macabre and gorgeously depraved emcee
much to the self elected finance minister that calls himself the love of my life
i lost all logic and self-control at topshop and novo
the dratted S word makes any girl lose their cool
and now i have jus proudly comfirmed myself a seat on a plane heading towards bangkok just a couple of days before sch starts

i am one happy camper with no money in my upturned pockets
and boy am i happy


forever lost - the magic numbers

the usual suspect said::

tis a pensive night as i web surf everything readable
i marvel at expensive handbags and gorgeous surgical results
conversed randomly with an online fellow linksys leecher

then it hit me
slowly but it got the red middle of me
afterall it has been on the fringes of my conscious wandering mind all week

there can be so many ways to maintain pain
this post is not meant to be awe inspiring or cheesy
but life is a stroll thru the valley of death (cue coolio)
its so easy to get sliced and diced out among the living
we all know that part
im trying to get at the part of pain and longevity

oh its hard its hard to let anything of significance go
and some of us sado-masochists luurrrvvveee it

self multilations drug abuse and alcoholism
these are top picks
but of cos there are a gazillion and one ways to create the perfect bombshelter
for the fallen the jilted the nameless the loners the lepers
to escape reality and its cold hard voice

it could be the self contained tranquilized capsule of self acceptance
and the pleasure of the 'my pain is my personality' complex

tempting ainnit?

afterall,
my sec school days did blearily passed me by with a patronising and well rehearsed 'life's a bitch and then you die' mantra
how foolishly chic it was back then

if only i had a shred of wisdom in those whimsically angsty days
i would have begged stole borrowed some optimism,force-inject some in my bones and determinedly enjoyed the remainder of my st nicks days a wee bit better

like how neo plaintively asked me:
how did years fly by? where were the in between years?

sorry neo i had an empty mouth.

well anyway thank god for friends and classmates who fought off the temptation to undergo personality transplants when they upped to the level of tertiary education
its mortifying and equally gratifying to hear that over the years in yer eyes i have cleared up my mess and dropped some of that damning cynicism

it is good to be able to feel presentable as a credible human being and nothing less of that
and its not as easy as it sounds



oh in my disjointed ramblings and thoughts i have missed the point of this post
ignited by plight of a misfortunate character i have grown to be rather fond of over the weeks
mind you there was nothing to warrant my meddling sympathy
it was really a sudden arrest of genuine sadness for his uncompromising situation

hanging in there - wad terrible imagery and wad comfort do you find in these 3 words?

a glimmer of hope and survival you may suggest?

but in our snugly conditioned world of luxurious comforts and facile pleasantness, who would wanna be survivors?

flash a grimy POW caked in blood and soil, his blackened nails scrapping the top of red earth, his gasp of generous air to suggest his unbendable ability to live.

that is survival for you and that is not glamourous.

you gotta go thru hell on earth and the holocaust two times over to emerge a survivor.
ugh.

we dont want that we want to be winners dont we all?

winners dont sweat a drop, winners pout preen and conquer.


now the question life throws at you:
how do we all emerge winners and make the unattainable yours?


where is this going i dont know
afterall this ranting is fuelled by the lack of sleep and the nagging perplexity of this case of awkward amnesia
afterall, nothing concrete is causing me an emotional turmoil
my psychic health has been improving steadily i must say

was it really just you then, my late night fellow linksys leecher?








city of blinding lights - U2

the usual suspect said::

we could cut ties with all the lies that we've been living in
and if you do not want to see me again

i would understand


signing off,
jumper

the usual suspect said::

miss flower child can kill you with a generous overdosage of her sweet venomous love
mr nature boy .

the usual suspect said::

i have to be the most fucked up person i know

i am what they call a nit-picker
and if that aint bad enough
i am what they call a hornet's nest stirrer
realise they all rhyme

its depressin when there is nothin concrete to depress about
and the microscopic problems are inflated to epic proportions
and pms is no longer considered a valid tool for self protection

i am quite the shit stirrer here

lets not go to the part where we realise its hard to stay mad
i hate trying to stretch my tantrum to a decent 1 hr and beyond
simply cos every single one of my attempts are valiantly unsuccessful

i was born with a suspicious mind
and i sniff at apparent goodwill and virtue

i was born with a cynical backbone
so i sniff somemore at happy scenarios

i as born with inadequate faith
so let me sniff at you somemore

its almost a year, when is yer mr wonderful facade gonna show some cracks?
evil me was almost anticipating

and as i continue reinforcing my flailing barricades
summoning every fibre of negativity i have in my system to fight this war
i am also embarrassed to give you some deserved credit
for your charming optimism of the shared unknown continually infiltrate my fort in every imaginable way

nerve endings sending an alarming message to the central nervous system
dully it passes the reassuring message to my feet: its ok to move forward a lil gracie

*

i am still unhealthy, but you made me a lil less unhealthy than before
i am still grimy, but you flecked some dirt off my blackened face
in my weaker moments i find myself almost surrendering the fiona apple in me and speedy-reincanate into the new alanis

but not yet my love
not yet.







and i have been holding out for love, ever since i had a heart*

buelah - popular mechanics for love

the usual suspect said::

so i got a kick ass job
and im not so hot about blogging anymore

but its not me
its life's mundane-ness
that routine of go work come go sleep and press repeat
and a nocturnal obsession with the world cup

it cant be any good can it?
a beautiful game with some beautiful men
and a beautiful throat infection on its way

my dull life in a very small nutshell:
battling pint-sized korean demons camouflaged in cherubic adorable-ness in exchange of a hefty lucrative paycheck
cleanin the house only to find it dusty again in a heartbeat
meetin my favourite girls sporadically - not enough i tell ya!
chillin with the same ole 2 men in my life

oh and ill be going back to kl on fri
for jus a coupla days
so no one to miss and no one will miss me
notice the word back?
ive got a home there i tell ya

ballack is so delicious
he's my man of wc 2006
no doubt about it
at least there's a 3rd place play-off so all is not lost
im talking bout the close-ups and replays of different angles of his gorgeous mug
not that ugly cup people!

am meeting up with sara n neo n the rest of the st nicks 4d coholt
think home-coming twofold
ex-classmates plus the newly opened newton circus
its completely smoke-free can anyone believe that shite?
good for me, the rehab smoker

now vic owes me a 50cent ribena from the st nicks canteen for breakin tonight's date
neo owes me orange bowl plus ribena cos the portuguese kicked english ass

see? i love the WC!



go portugal go!

the usual suspect said::

gracie lou freebush
miss artful dodger
1986
st.nicks/cjc/nus theatre studies
//
Let each man exercise the art he knows.
Aristophanes

The drama is not dead but liveth
and contains the germs of better things.
-william archer

• mar
• sab
• vic
• vern
• cole
• e*an
• isaac
• bryanboy
• thesuperficial
• thesartorialist
• perez hilton
• sea of shoes
• karlascloset
• anonymousworks/

is this the real life?
is this just fantasy?
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality
open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
-queen

skin by lomographylove[:
inspiration: 001