just saw the city of god.
late but it was astounding.
wished i didnt put it off fer so long before catchin it

had wad we called movie food
fruit instead of pop corn and coke but it all went untouched
i was sucked into the whole visual n emotional fest

it was such a wonderful movie
moving and disturbing my inner being all at the same time
the simple theme of poverty and crime grips me from within

it burns to see kids pickin up guns in order to earn some lunch money
hold ups and murder are daily affairs in the city of god
rio de janeiro's and the world's most notorious slum
peopthew world can never be a place of equality and shared wealth if the income divide keeps growin by the day
and it is
breaks my heart cos the measures govts have taken are hardly helpin
its a serious yet untouchable problem
aids go into corrupted pockets of the legal falcons
the rich forget the poor in the most cold and convenient fashion

music: sweet child of mine
guns and roses

"where do we go?"

the hauntingly climatic scene of the swift murder of the slum's most notorious crimebug whos trigger happy and manically egoistic
for the countless he shot in cold blood
for the irony of peace that descended upon the slum as he exterminated his rivals and the shootings and hold ups ceased
he was killed by the runts. a rowdy gang of joint tootin burglars stealin from bakeries and supermarkets rangin 6 to 13 yrs old.
lying in his own filthy blood, his back riddled by countless bullet holes
pure irony.
he gave them to those guns.
when he encouraged them to kill each other.

how can we complain bout our parents stingy-in on pocket money
moaning bout that lovely pair of shoes we will have to starve to buy.
in order to satiate our greedy materialistic inner demons?

does that bag with the famous insignia give me street cred, poise
and ten inches of extra height?

we have kids killin each other fer a stick of cocaine.
and guns fer toys in the killer streets of not just rio de janeiro.
but really one-sixth of the world demographically.
u saw right.
one sixth of the world's population lives in slums, below the poverty line (which means daily domestic earnings of less than US$1) and without sanitation and proper medical and educational attention
that is about one billion people in suffering.

the tsunami is one great tragedy that evoked worldwide empathy.
millions of donations poured in.
clothes donated.
mission trips organised.
fantastic.
aceh, sri lanka, india and other hit areas had wad we called instant global relief

but wad about the one billion slum dwellers we all overlooked cos their tragedy is one that runs on like the never endin ganges
like an evergreen american soap opera.
we turn a blind eye towards that.
just becos its not explodin on the media everday its not there.

why do we have children in singapore droppin out? shop-liftin? online sexual solicitation. like OMG.
i know its not becos of extreme poverty.
juvenile delinquency here is simply an unacceptable way to degenarate
when the simplest engines of poverty and desperation are not in the picture

respect to bono. for his quest to end worldwide poverty.
mission impossible but hes not stoppin till the day he stops breathin.
we should all be like that.
bono my hero.
like the movie
we shud be paying it forward.

they never had the chances we had.
dyin slowly livin out impoverished and
and everyone is tryin to claw their way out its awful to look
will i ever be able to understand that sort of desperation?

some visuals for thought

kenyan slum refugees


one of brazil's largest favelas ("slum")


a dumpsite where ppl pick litter to sell for a living


whole families live in slums, not only thieves and druggies.







strength is overcome by weakness
joy is overcome by pain
The night is overcome by Brightness
and Love - it remains the same

t.h.i.n.k.
thats wad we all should be doing.
with that cap god handed us.

the usual suspect said::

alex the lion: (roars) i dont wanna hurt you!!!
marty the zebra: im not leavin without you.

alex the lion: c'mon i dont wanna sing this alone. you know the words. two little words!
marty the zebra: new yorkkkkk new yorkkkkk

alex the lion: can i come over to the fun side?

saw madagascar and boy i loved it!
gags aside i love the friendship between marty n alex.
the narcisstic lion and the carefree fast talkin zebra
voiced by my two fav actors ben stiller n chris rock
it was absolutely awesome

mar n i are abit like that
the polarities in personalities and appearances
we have a whole galaxy of difference between us but we adore each other to bits
there are the times when i get crazy n bite her head off
(like how alex the lion bit marty's ass) hurhurs
its all good really its all good
we still tight and ill never ever leave her in the lurch

good friends are hard to come by best friends are close to none
thats why i only have u babygirl

and gloria the hippo's abit like sab aint it? oh so momsy type.

thats a tick off the long long list of summer blockbusters i wanna catch
before sch starts and all
so many good flicks this june thats where most of my moolah's gonna go
so much fer the conservation of resources fer that blasted rainy day

oh wells...
there is bewitched! ( i love the show!!!)
war of the worlds (*tom crusie and h.g. wells. potent combo!)
the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy (sam rockwell!)
a lot like love
batman begins
monster in law (ray's mom is comin home. did i mention? lets hope its not gonna be like the movie)
mr and mrs smith
chronicles of narnia

also to come:
sin city(this year's pulp fiction. ooh. cant wait)
fantastic four
charlie and the chocolate factory (johnny depp is willy wonka. how cool is that?)
harry potter
deuce bigalow (everyone's fav male gigoglo)
doom



how can i not burn a hole in my pocket now?

and of course.
im probably gonna watch this movie a zillion times on the big screen and get the dvd too.
im dying from the anticipation.
here's the second love of my life and hes now a major movie star!!!












clint eastwood - gorillaz

the usual suspect said::

grace's baby boy Noah
haha but hes not mine sadly.
ray's sister is a grace too -hehes-

aint he the cutest?
sweet lil angel's only 9 weeks old and hes real bright
he responses to sounds and scents acutely
he even imitates his mother stickin out his tongue
it was a consuming experience just to hold him gently in my arms
hes so light yet so heavy (mentally fer me)
i was so worried i mite drop him
with the entire lim clan watchin me like hawks
and proud uncle raymond didnt say much but beamed with joy the entire night


hi my name is noah yu on and im australian!

single chinese name too (on=an) so cool!
seeing noah caused qt a stir within me

first things first
ill never ever go fer an abortion in this lifetime. never ever man.
i cant wait to experience the bittersweet joys of motherhood
grace was sharing with me cracking n bleeding nipples from breatfeeding
she said it was the hardest thing to do
never crossed my mind that something that seems so simple is actually an arduous task
if ur breast aint in the ideal shape and ur baby rejects suckling fer the first few weeks of his life.
that u gotta teach him to get used to ur teets.
ugh. unbelievable.

i seriously cant wait to be a mom.

kinda made me miss my mom.
wished she was ard so that i can show my gratitude.
our parents are the most noble ppl in our lives.
we wldnt be here without them yada yada
but the fact is so much love care and attention is emplaced into the growth and development of a child
so much sacrifices and effort mom n dad has devoted over the years
its really something that all the money in the world can never buy
how can we ever ever give back to our parents?
its simply immeasurable by monetary terms.

i witnessed grace's entire course of pregnancy and that huge bulge that i gently carressed months ago actually held sucha lovely human creation fer 9 long months
this is so beyond biological analysis
its simply an amazing wonder of nature
every mammal's propensity to reproduce
as much as i know the facts i extracted from my textbook days
the reality of it still astounds me
life is god's best creation!

the coming father's day is gonna be a special one fer dad.
just a lil gratitude on my part.

more picts!
enjoy!


proud ole uncle raymond

my future nephew! i adore him to bits already!








waterfalls - tlc

the usual suspect said::

[NOW]
happy or sad: happy! fever gone thanks to a night of pamperin by the noble raymond
sleepy or awake: Awake. i slept my weekend away!
hungry or full: full. i ate and ate and ate after an ardous 24 hour loss of appetite
dirty or clean: dirty. im waiting fer time to ring so i can wash this dye soacked hair off.
single or taken: thankfully taken.
alone or with someone beside u: im home alone =(

[WHAT]
you last ate: bee hoon soup courtesy of the senile ah bor (hainanese fer auntie)to which took forever to make cos she got the soup n forgot the beehoon. had to run back upstairs n cook it again. aint she the cutest 70 year old ard?
you last drank: water to go with the medication
you wearing now: nus tee i won yesterday at its fass open house. cos its black n im doing a dye job now
are you thinking of: seeing my future nephew later at the airport. ray's sister is finally comin home with lil noah. im gonna whisper "auntie grace auntie grace" over and over again into his lil adorable ear.
you wishing for: a money tree thriving in my backyard
do you overuse: my boho zara skirt. my kids think i have no clothes. but i isimply adore it. it goes with everything!!!
do you take for granted: nothin anymore. ive learnt thru excruciating experiences that ppl u love can leave you, get mad at you or fall sick n die on you. and sami will eventually go back to indonesia so no. i dun even take my maid fer granted.

[WHO]
do you miss the most: my mommy.
do you love: dad mad ray mar vic sab jin vern.
do you feel most happy with: its a fight between the boyfriend and the best friend. a different league altogether but mar pisses me off much much less.
makes you laugh: baby and his countless impersonations, lame jokes and pure ignorance to hip stuff.
makes u sleep: raymond when he starts snoring
makes you cry: free willy and when my boy says something touching or something stupid. works both ways dun they ladies?
makes you angry: ray.
enlightens you: daddy
ill-treats you: who else? im a gaming widow.

[WHEN]
is your birthday: 5th of April now people take that down!
is your loved one's birthday: 1st september. teachers' day.
is you wedding annivesary: not yet not yet.
is the happiest day of your life: to date its the 15th of June 2004. its gonna reach its one year mark very soon.
did you last swear: i swear 24/7. so its prob like a second ago or something
did you last have a fight: oh every other day. to spice things up a lil bit. but mainly to drill sense into that knucklehead of yours.
did you last cry: yesterdae when i felt so so so awful from the fever.

[HOW]
do you break off with someone: i dont.
do you overcome depression: that requires external help like an immensely patient companion (i dun even see him as my boyfriend cos hes beyond that) or one of my bitches to hold me when i sob. and if help doesn arrive, ill go gert a pack of marlboros.
do you live your life: riding it like a huge wave. when it goes up i move up, when it goes down i dun fight it. its less painful that way. im a side-switching optimist plus pessimist.
do you pass your time: tutoring lil angels and lil demons
do you pass your exams: i honestly dont know!

[WHY]
do you normally get angry: cos ive got a short fuse and no room fer impatience and stupidity
do you cry: cos i have taps fer eyes. and its one of my greatest talents. i can cry on cue no kidding!
are you who you are: cos the essential ppl in my life shape what i am todae. spoil me and i become a brat. love me nurture me i become an angel. leave me die on me i become bitter but i get stronger. test me help me i become a better person each day. everyone is learning and evolving thruout the entire process of living. no man's an island. how can we be who we are without both positive and negative influences in our lives?



copied this from a nicknamed character from frienster
when i looked thru the answers i realised who is was
pining fer ian francis low
and she's the only person whose misery i truly rejoiced over
sucha imbecile this person is

im usuallly a person who prefers using the indifference tact towards distasteful characters that assault my senses
be it sight smell or hearing
i defnitely wld not go to the extent of bodily contact

i refuse to be bothered by insignificant idiots thats part and parcel of life

except this easily swayed immauture and shameless self proclaimed heartbroken emochick over here
she really really made me mad.

you hurt the people i love you receive the mark of my wrath.

not like ill pour acid or commit arson
even tho my hyperactive imagination suggets so
my strategy of indifference still stands strong and boy im glad fer that
recovered wad was owed n wrote the person off fer good.
out of my loved one's mind u shall be.
(heh i just saw starwars)

baby u dun deserve such shady characters as friends.
should hang out with ppl with at least an ounce of intelligence in their heads.
a 20 year old that bows at ur 19 year old sister's feet is a joke
and openly pining fer a love lost so many ions ago is the destruction fer any lil self respect she had fer herself
a terrible shame n insult to feminism.
im deeply disgusted.

ugh.

shall not dedicate more blogspace to the retarded courtney love wannabe
sm excited to see lil noah later in the day!
yay!


incomplete - dru hill

the usual suspect said::

im sick thanks to you.
but i still love ya =)

the usual suspect said::

couldn have felt any better

my nose is runnin like a tap
phelgm clogs up the back of my throat
my skeleton seemed to have dissolved
hence the lethargic spineless feeling
the hazey malfunctionin brain and eyelids that weigh london double deckers

i think im sick.

should have just let boy boy wear the face mask aka sars mask to bed n risk his suffocation
wad was i thinking?
now im equally sick cos we traded germs all night
and before any nausea sets in
we slept fitfully tossin and turnin n irritatin the shit out of each other
some romance huh?
stupid actions bring stupid consequences

thank god for angels named sabrina and vernia
comin over in just abit armed with takeaways
thats the real purpose of a good girlfriend i swear

vic's sick too
i dun think its a free for all flu bug season
more like the world is just a huge playground for viral infestation
all that bloody bateria that escapes the naked eye
ruddy lil micro-organisms with dreadful proportions
fuckin pain in our behinds
why cant the world be all be germ free?

den again we have people who dont believe in doing laundry
like my ray of sunshine
lousy pun intended
forgive me.
is loading a buncha clothes into the washing machine and pressing a couple of buttons that difficult?
to him its like an excruciating weekly feat.
i just dont grasp that.
but easy for me to say.
i have sami.

oh yeshhhh
the smugness the gloating smirk
the sheer bliss of domestic help
but before u write me off as a spoilt brat
i do my own dishes!
that counts im sure

ive seen commando boys strugglin with bedsheets and pillow cases
so yea we gen y kids are pretty hopeless when it comes to domesticity
really really hopeless.

ranting part two...

i dont ever wanna feel like i did that day//take me to the place i love. take me all the way. says:
why do i not like ya?
i dont ever wanna feel like i did that day//take me to the place i love. take me all the way. says:
i didnt even have the chance to talk to ya dear
undergraduate clara/freshmen clara says:
heheh...
undergraduate clara/freshmen clara says:
no la
undergraduate clara/freshmen clara says:
just tot that you didnt
i dont ever wanna feel like i did that day//take me to the place i love. take me all the way. says:
now thats silly
undergraduate clara/freshmen clara says:
hehe
undergraduate clara/freshmen clara says:
no la..
i dont ever wanna feel like i did that day//take me to the place i love. take me all the way. says:
sides... i was like stoned in sch. i wasnt very into it everything was like a haze. i didnt get to make much friends
i dont ever wanna feel like i did that day//take me to the place i love. take me all the way. says:
which i think back now a great pity


was i really that aloof and unfriendly when i was in cj?
arrogance?
indifference?
lack of social participation?
wad was it that didnt endear me to people?
or to make ppl think i didnt like em when i held no negative feelings towards them at all.
i guess i wasnt very into school
and i definitely wasnt physically in sch enough to be friendly to many people
dun think i made much friends too
which is a real shame.
cj wasnt that bad now that im outta that place.

till the next self-discovery and inane ranting sessions!


my angels. we should all be together.




put your arms around me - all star united

the usual suspect said::

I PUT ON ABBA....
and totally dusted up my place
threw out all the junk ive pain stakingly accumulated over the years
and arranged everything back into its place
it was absoutely therapuetic and a great workout to boot
after devoting my weekend to quality romance time within the confines of my home
(sorry yewteng its not me that didnt wanna show support!)
its only fair i devote a good sunday afternoon to straightenin up the pad
afterall i aint got a mom or a maid
sami does not count cos she comes ONCE a week to clean the floors n wash the clothes
but she's my angel all the same

there is a cleanliness freak in me but thank god its dormant most of the time

im every mother-in-law's nightmare
my bed is practically groanin from the punishing amount of tried-on-but-not-worn-out clothing n bags ive piled onto it
and the used ones are strewn all over the floor among opened n unopened shoppin bags books and new shoes
and the occasional crumpled up tissue here and there
junk-o-sundae anyone?

ray was flabbagasted when he spent the night
we both agreed that even he the slob was the neater one
but that's becos he doesn have as much stuff as me
wad an unfair comparison

my gosh im gonna get started on the kilos of papers
the environmentalist in me is screeching with rage!
if every normal kid like me who invested bout 12 years in school had THAT much paper
not considering all that we have thrown out
or the papers we "accidentally" left under our desks every time we change classes at the end of the year so the janitors wld do the throwin out fer us
i cant imagine the millions of kilograms of papers we all place at home to feed dustmites.
i think i have a good number of trees on my desk and shelves!

an environmental atrocity

therefore i think we should all be given laptops in school
i heard they have such programs in school right now
where sec sch students do their homework n take notes on the laptop
talk about techno-chic.

think of all the trees we will save.
no more disappearin amazon rainforests and more taman negaras in the world
more oxygen supply n hence less carbon dioxide
it works both ways
less assault on the ozone layer reduced global warming
bla bla bla ya get the beautiful beautiful picture
its a perfect cycle of environmental wholesomeness.
ooh-aah.

not forgetting the abundant excuses we can come up with when a certain asssignment is simply undone
i relish that!

am in sucha good mood cos it seems like ive been accepted into nus
they did say i was a successful applicant in the email n the offer package will come next week
till den im still a tad bit apprehensive n will only burst into tears of euphoria n incredulous gruffaws till i see everything in black n white
may the mailman drop by soon.

been thinkin that i have incredible luck in various aspects of my life
i always seem to get thru the major crisises in my life
not sailin but i squeeze past the cracks alright
considerin the amount of effort ive put in for the As
cohabitation before major exams is a mega no-no.
and so ive learnt.

and the holiday is comfirmed!!!!
am so estatic.
the set date should be mid june durin our one year anniversary
and he mite even throw in the suped up comp as well
not gonna go on n on bout wad a lucky girl i am
before somebody gets major cyber sickness

but im happy alrite.

will be happier if mar didnt make it past the departure gates this tues
the bitch is going hongkong.
just playin marmar
-grins-
you haf a safe trip n a great time while you are there.

oh and get me a present dun be stingy
something designer or faux designer would be nice
i know its NOT winter season over there so no excuses darling.


all i need in this life of sin is me and my best friend






accidentally in love - counting crows

the usual suspect said::

read my blog people!
rebirth's the theme!
mnow isnt that j.lo's new album?
oh well. conincidence.

wad a fine job mar did.
instead of ben n jerry's girlie mags and sex in the city
(so passe!)
she redid my blogskin for me.
think new age sleepovers people

somehow unwittingly my life now revolves only ard a certain someone
girlfriend time is so precious we all try to fit in thru the cracks of our schedule
or we spend weeks anticipating the next bitches get together dinner
its like a chinese reunion dinner already

and sometimes the get tog never materialises
cos time simply doesn permit
do we make time or do we run along with it tryin to catch up?
go figure.

when it does happen its awesome
never felt more comfortable and more at home
these girls were with me since my formative years
they have been here since the awkward years of self discovery and teenage awakenings
all the hours of tears laughter gossip n rantings at the warring parental units
time took that along in its stride
but im never gonna forget it
cos my girls are still by my side

three months since i sent jin off at the airport
we all locked in a teary embrace its was gut wrenching.
almost two months since i saw sab
but im seeing her in half an hour's time! yay!
about a month and a half since i saw vern
as long as ur healthy everything else is secondary honey.
13 days since i saw vic.
good luck for the drivin test love! ull be just great. dun forget the mini skirt. the sheer white one is a good choice.
15 mins since i saw mar cos shes taking a dump.
yes people the divine miss m does use the bathroom just like us mere mortals.

hurhurs.

oh man, i just love you girls.

the usual suspect said::

im being stretched in many ways
its amazing i have time to come online
i spent my days being a nomadic educator
and a rather well paid one

im exhausted.
both ways.

the past few days were crazy
im clockin 8am to 10.30pm days
cos of the mid years
i never thot ill say this but man i wish i was the one takin em
muggin is sure less exhaustin than heartland-hopping
and doing battle with the indifferent the haughty the pressurised genius the clueless the i-try-so-hard-but-i-still-dont-get-it.
who would have thot that 33+4=47 would piss the shit out of me
and of cos i can only make do with an inward groan
they dont get the outright heavy sigh

but i still like my kids.
they can be real sweet.
i get notes like "i love you soo much teacher"
and hello kitty and the incredibles stickers all over my lil black book
thats the book i plan my tuition schedule (not numbers from the elite of the opp sex sadly. just kiddin baby!)
cant do without it.
beats the palmtop or wadever it its called now.
i prob cant turn it on without VERBAL directions
pen n paper is more my thing.

unemployment doesnt suit me
i rather work my arse off
haven had a break since exams ended
come to think of it
i haven had a break before
i am my own slave driver
and this statement is both boyfriend and best friend endorsed

plenty of issues infiltrate my mind as i drift off aimlessly on the countless bus rides i have to take
todays bout the north korea nuclear crisis and havin kids before 30
lets hope pyongyang doesnt conduct bilateral talks with mr bin laden soon
and i get somewhere in life before 29 so that when all else fails
(meaning: no man in my life)
im rich enough for sperm donations and the iv stuff

wish i could join my best friend in riotous unemployment fun
but damn i dun get no allowance. i give it.
so back to work it is for me.
sigh.
i gave the lowdown on my not so prestigous but nonetheless enriching career
hurhurs.
now i can sleep in peace.

khoo, out.
just kiddin.




Well I need you now, do you think you can cope?
You figured me out, I'm a child and I'm hopeless.
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken.
I come, oh, I come undone in this mad season.
In this mad season.
It's been a mad season.
Been a Mad season.

matchbox 20

the usual suspect said::

now that my comp's finally back where SHE goddamn belongs.
two can play this game sweetheart.

the irritation of hearin clickin typin noises and spacey replies are officially over.
i aint gonna put up with jimmy nuetron over there no more
now that ive got my own erm...
lets just call it comp.
like short for computer?
or compie. for erm that endearing effect.
guys names their penises i know. but computers?
amazing.

if i get a new comp and world of warcraft subcription for my one year anni next month i think ill just commit hari kiri.
i mean. WOW (pun intended)

instead of the bali getaway ive been lustin over for months
out pops the temptin possibility of a suped up compie (oh christ!)
and battling orcs in my very own personalised middle earthling character as a anni present

i could be a purple elfin with pointy ears great curves snakes for hair and a generous part of amoured boobs

no.

my boyfriend is as predictable as j.lo's fashion faux pases

i can only keep my fingers crossed.


ps: sorry for wettin your shirt vic. ur amazing girlfriend and a damn good nanny too. i slept like a baby -hugs-


where are you going - dave matthews band (ray's frist love)



snake-charmers are we? love you bReastie lets hit the beach again soon.
just the two of us you and i

the usual suspect said::

See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby I don't know why ya treatin me so bad
You said you love me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is eating for ya
I can't stop crying
I don't know how
I allow you to treat me this way and still i stay

See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby I don't know why ya wanna do me wrong
See when I'm home, I'm all alone
And you are always gone
And boy, you kno I really love you
I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears
after all these years

I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad
what love will make you do
all the things that we accept
be the things that we regret
too all of my ladies (ladies) feel me
c'mon sing wit me

See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same that
You ain't never gonna change
(never gonna change, never gonna change)

Baby why you hurt me leave me and desert me
Boy I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags
This something always hold me back

the usual suspect said::

gracie lou freebush
miss artful dodger
1986
st.nicks/cjc/nus theatre studies
//
Let each man exercise the art he knows.
Aristophanes

The drama is not dead but liveth
and contains the germs of better things.
-william archer

• mar
• sab
• vic
• vern
• cole
• e*an
• isaac
• bryanboy
• thesuperficial
• thesartorialist
• perez hilton
• sea of shoes
• karlascloset
• anonymousworks/

is this the real life?
is this just fantasy?
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality
open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
-queen

skin by lomographylove[:
inspiration: 001