Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning [:

Thursday, April 29, 2004

wads goin on in the world todae
i rather be dead then turn my head awae
somebody fuckin tell me.

anyone gets the feelin like somethings goin on but no ones tellin?
i hate the coolness of it all
somethings out there
people know
maybe i dun haf to know
perhaps i dun mean anything to ya
so i haf no right to know

its jus fuckin weird ya noe
aint we supposed to run to each other?
u runnin to someone else maybe
i pray not
but if u are
it jus shows i aint sufficient nuff
wadsoever
maybe im not wad ya need

ur hidin somethin baby girl
u noe it
so do i

if ur nort gonna say how can i help
if ur nort gonna say wad can i do
if ur nort gonna say wad am i here fer
if ur nort gonna say ur fuckin beakin my heart

im.waiting.

the usual suspect said::

4/29/2004 05:55:00 PM :D

Monday, April 26, 2004

we were meant to live fer so much more.

when do i get to the point that there isnt anything to live fer anymore
i hope i aint close.
i dun think i am.
am i?

whatcha gonna do when shit hits the fan?
are u gonna run or take it like a man?
-eminem-

i wonder. how much shit can one take in one pathetic miserable life?

is there always something to fall back on when shit happens?

will there be a situation when there is nothin left to fall back on?

i.fear.that.
very.very.much.

i dun cast my net the way others do
i dun see how much i can reel in
i dun haf that much energy.
so fuck that.

back to this
so wad happens when everyone u thot u cld lean upon
like dominoes
one by one
they jus fall?

will i reach a point when there aint anyone to catch me when i fall
and ill jus be on my own?

who can i trust?
who can i NOT trust?

are we made to place our trust in no one but ourselves?

its silly really.
nothin is ever constant ive hrd it all
how cld i haf ever thot that ppl feelins and bonds that seem unbreakable wld never change?
i must haf been mad.
really.

i.was.convinced.u.wld.never.leave.me.

i hate this bullshit. i want it to end.

and being misunderstood by an egomaniac is way annoyin
wld i honestly think every guy that talks to me likes me?
well maybe if i get implants
AND a personality transplant
and thats a HUGE maybe.
its a unattainable maybe
im not even gonna explore it further.
im disgusted

urgh. i dunno where u get ur facts
i dun wanna noe
jus keep ur warped theories to urself honey
i really wldnt care.
and i dun abt u.
never did.

something ive picked up from carrie bradshaw from sex in the city
man i love dat show
im easing myself into d-i-y breakup therapy n i gotta nake some rules
jus made one simple rule to live by
to make this whole fuckin bullshit easier
the rest will follow

my rule:
destroy all photos of him lookin really cute (doofy cute counts as well) n me lookin really really happy.
shit like dat left hangin ard can be very lethal.
one glance is all it takes to ruin a perfectly gd day.

hmmmm
maybe another episode or two and ill learn new stuff
maybe u wont even be my mr big anymore
maybe i can even forget
thats a hell lotta maybes as well.
damn.

the usual suspect said::

4/26/2004 04:43:00 PM :D

Monday, April 19, 2004

ive really been awae haven i?
its been a tough period
really.
its hard to decipher wad im feelin.
much less put em in words.

clumsy strings of words
thats all i can muster

i cant even put em tog
when im in pieces

im okie. really ya'all.
not good but okie.

is there anyone who has walked without a permanent scar
i dunno.

memories.
beautiful.
bitter.
sweet.
ugly.
painful.

baggage fer life.
maybe i can deposit it sumwhere fer awhile
but i can never ever truly let it go

cant put it behind me.
when its eatin me frm the inside

rather be alone den unhappy
i am alone.
i am unhappy.
hmmmm.
tough.

fuckin nitemares
fuckin hangovers
fuckin bus rides home
fuckin msn nicknames
life's a bitter pill

wad are u doin
without me ard

do u ever think abt me?
do u ever cry youself to slp?

man i jus wanna noe.
is everything ok?

the usual suspect said::

4/19/2004 08:26:00 PM :D

Thursday, April 01, 2004

blatant plagerism from the bitches blog. vernie ur the new plath. im so proud of u intellectual mamasan. applause i love ya bebe

hmm sometimes i think and ponder.
how life would be for the six of us ten years later?

i can see grace, still as skinny as ever.
dressed in black demin jeans wit a tiny sweater,
entertaining us wit her silly antics
and we laugh heartily while time ticks.

vic is so busy wit business, no?
that she cant even make time for a cappuchino.
she smiles at me wearily
as if saying she misses us terribly.

then we see mar approaching
and the cafe has got the guys all drooling.
flooded wit saliva up to my knee,
i decide that we should just leave.

jin never fails to forget things every now and then
so she ended up nowhere near the arranged street number ten.
we stood and waited for her at the road
only to find her bring her new pet mr TOAD.

sab and i groaned as we needed a smoke
she's kicking the habit cos she said she was broke.
its strange how lawyers claim that they're poor
when you always see them decked in silver glamour.

last but not least,
vern who wrote this
has words to offer her girlfriends above
the friendships go on and so does our love :D

the usual suspect said::

4/01/2004 09:41:00 PM :D