i hail form this weird dysfunctional family. its like the mini addams family. old feeble crazy in head n heart attack patient. thats my father. impatient irritating n superbly sarcastic royal pain in the butt. thats me. n disgustingly overweight with zero intelligence. thats my lil sister. wad a weird combo rite? i hate being part of it all im tellin ya all. we hate each other. the house is always messy. things all over the place n dishes in the sink. there aint no money comin in. the old man doesn even wanna feed us. wtf. eveything jus sucks. i hate my lifestyle right now. we are like doomed or something. we are all jus goin down to hell tog. double fuck. we are all goin down tog mans.

the usual suspect said::

yawns. jus got home after a long dae. im gonna make this short. im so so so damn tired. physically plus mentally. i noe u are too. been all over the place. been part of this mental tug-of-war of two since god knows when. fuck im so goddamn tired im ready to throw the white flag into the ring. u make me feel small n insignificant. u make me feel like excess baggage. u make me feel so goddamn unwanted. like some filthy trash. is dat wad i am to u? fuck. im on the verge of desperation n ready to tk the easy route out. grab my arse n jus get outta here. i can just let go of my grip on wad we moulded tog over the months. but its damn hard to do so as well. im so fuckin miserable n conflicted. all cos of u. fuck u.

.i.look.back.on.my.life.wad.do.i.find.i.feel.im.running.on.empty.

the usual suspect said::

msg fer the bitches:
sab: the one that has always been flyin ard. ur never in one place. i miss u so damn much.
mar: im sorry dat cos of me u lost ur voice. i totally passed the virus to u. damn. if it makes ya feel betta, mad, ben kang n my dad all got it as well. -big kiss-
vic: hey sweet pea we gotta go out soon. n hey its time to whip out the calculator n practise some math man. -evil laughter-
jin: feels so good to haf u back now hon. n wham bam thank u mam. u look hotter den ever now! love dat hair!
vern: u are da bomb. also the crazy woman. i hate ur perky boobs n we laugh the loudest tog. i miss it all so much. lets do it again sometime shall we?

>>>bitches no matter the dist n wad has happened. we haf all grew tog n now we're definitely matured enough to hold on to this special thing we call friendship. it needs its repairs n healin n dats wad we're gonna do rite? i aint gonna give up after sucha long way we've come from. all these yrs. so dun u guys bail out on me too. i love u all *group hugs*

bitches.rock.on.

the usual suspect said::

my bio clock is all screwed up. nite n day has reversed their roles n when i try to normalise n go to bed at times where ppl do go ta bed, the peepers jus dun close. damn. my body doesnt seem to obey me anymore. not dat it did much in the past. but now its jus outta control. i gave up tryin to reshuffle my hibernatiion times n so ive been goin to bed at 3am n ltr.
when i aint out im glued to the googlebox. im hooked to slamdunk. some jap anime basketball thingy. its all so cute n downright hilarious. it goes on 4ever (u noe the boxed vcd set kind) n it has rendered me anti-social n definitely placed me under house arrest (its like self-quarentine). haha
last nite was an exception. a nite out wit the cousins was jus so much fun. bk came along n i cld tell that he had a great time jus like me. my cousins seem to like him. grinx. its alway gd to garner some support over at the relative dept. cos when hes introduced to the rest of the clan n stuffm it wld make the torturous deed much more painless n smoother, wit help on his side. hehe.
alrite im outta here. gotta go meet xiu to watch lotr (after half the world's population has watched it ALREADY) but ooh i still cant wait. im gonna so be in full movie gear mans. slacks, shoes (in prevention of freezin toes) n jacket. yupp. all set. IM OFF!!!!

the usual suspect said::

-+- if im not with u i lose my mind. give me a sign. hit me baby one more time -+-

giggles. im feelin naughty.

the usual suspect said::

Today was gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart went out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

But all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

i.will.always.love.you.mar/my.deepest.apologies.fer.everything/




the usual suspect said::

Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
And as the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

I don't wanna be there when you're ...
Coming down
I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground

So dont go away, say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day ... In the time of my life
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind

Me and you whats going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

*i feel like im being pushed n pulled in so many diff fuckin directions im almost ready to give up fighting fer myself in this senseless mental war we created together*

...just.gimme.a.break.will.ya?


the usual suspect said::

hrd some bullshit bout how ur friends are like ur eyes or something. like they help u see n stuff. the beauty n colours n stuff. sighx. no wonder im blinded right now.

the usual suspect said::

it feels so gd to haf my baby back with me. din blog fer whole of yest so im gonna try ta recall some details n basically list the highlights.
+woke up to a msg that ben will be landin in 2 hrs n i haven even checked up the precise details (flight number... which terminal...)
+was in total disarray n i practically FLEW to the stupid airport
+finally! never been so happy in sucha long time. hes back. lookin pretty fly (fer a white guy. wait dats david) n no signs of any holidae flab.i was pretty impressed.
life is good. yippee.

+broke my heart to leave him after droppin him off at home. the guy's gotta rest.
+watched chok maddie n victor play billards. it wus pure comedy.
+the annual maternal side xmas eve dinner cum gathering was fab. great food. freeflow of wine n champagne. mahjong n all dat catching up. nice.
+spent countdown wit bk. jus the two of us. more or less things were cleared up. phew. praise heavens.
i had a sweet xmas eve plus countdown =)

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>

Todae::
now the good stuff are over. heres the bad.
im really really really mad.
its like hey. if u dun think me n my "other friends" are cool or wealthy enuff fer ya. so be it okie. dun hafta force urself to come join us on a xmas dinner if u dun really wanta. ill make do with dat. ill still love u n i can juggle.
but if u agreed to. the least u cld be is not to make such a grand entrance ( with a waiting time of close to TWO hours. its more den fashionable im sure) or leave so hurridly to go meet ur rich n fancy holidae fling. wad ever happened to the stranded friend? i sure dun see her anywhere else after dat. how convenient. (we sure made things convenient fer ya as well. the changing of venues n all)
i dunno man. fuck the situation man.

::in the midst of my anger somehow bk made everything alrite again.
hes jus the sweetest thing.
he gave me a rose.
that miraculously made everything alrite once more.
merry xmas ppl. love is all ard. fuck that.
hahaha im must haf lost my MARbles.

the usual suspect said::

12/25/2003 11:59:00 PM :D

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

***i dont want a lot for christmas
dere is just one thing I need
i dont care about presents
underneath the christmas tree
i just want you for my own
more than you could ever know
make my wish come true...
baby all I want for Christmas. is you***

the usual suspect said::

12/23/2003 08:41:00 PM :D

im so sick ive been home the whole dae. its drivin me nuts. its like im uner quaratine. i din talk to or tell anyone bout this. i think im dying of tuberculosis or something. really. n i hate doctors. aint gonna go see one even if it kills me. eeks. sighx. this is a sneak preview fer me into the feeling of dying old alone. its sucha miserable thing. n i predict ill be liddat. when im abt 70, very unhappy, forgot how to communicate and prisoner of darkness to my own home, ill jus go silently sitting in my rocking chair with maybe some weed in my pipe. my neighbours will pick on the stench abt maybe 2 wks ltr n call the cops. the doors wld be broken down n my dreadfully skinny cold n rottin corpse ( plus it'll be half eaten by my dogs) will be whisked off to the morgue. no one will collect the body n ill jus be cremated within the morgue's premises. the end. such a clean and brutally convenient way for someone's life to end. completely devoid from all forms of emotions or humanity. no one will know and no one will care. how simple.

the usual suspect said::

12/23/2003 08:28:00 PM :D

i feel fucked up. fever n sorethroat n no one at home. fuck.

the usual suspect said::

12/23/2003 07:51:00 PM :D

Monday, December 22, 2003

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

+i miss my baby. glad hes comin back tmr.sighx+

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 11:48:00 PM :D

did a hellota silly quizez at mar's todae. both of us jus spent the whole dae chillin tog at her place. din go anywhere else. sounds damn boring but time flew pass damn fast. mar posted some of the results on both of ours blogs. how ridiculous can they get? funny eh? i love the one bout my deepest darkest secret. BREAST IMPLANTS!!! i wish. hahaha. oh did i mention i love my best friend? we haf the best times tog! cheers to our friendship.

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 11:41:00 PM :D

YOU HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 10:55:00 PM :D

Queen Mask
Please rate my quiz for me thanks and I hope you
had fun


What mask should you wear?(new 19 outcomes with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 10:39:00 PM :D

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 10:34:00 PM :D

Aryan Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 10:24:00 PM :D

You're ELEGANT sexy! You have a tasteful style,
that not only draws attention to you, but gives
you respect. Your style is more graceful than
that of others.


What kind of sexy are you? [For girls only! With Pics! Finally Finished!]
brought to you by Quizilla

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 10:18:00 PM :D

this is my new blogggg! fab ainnit? im sucha laggard. if somethings so hot, after everyone has gone out n done it n the hype burns out like some shortlived fire, ill be the one at the back trying to catch up. sad but thats jus how i operate. i usually dun a give a fuck. blogs are silly i think. an online publication of ur saga of a life n its turmoils aka a personal version of "days of our lives" is an outrage of modesty. its like ur exposing urself to rape. but when ur bored to tears n on the brink on uncontraollable insanity due to this short but brutal period of mental isolation, this may just be the answer. the release. im so bored i can die. mr benjamin kang makes up like practically 50% of my daily non-routinal lifestyle. with him gone half my life is gone with him as well. its THAT terrible. thank god the other half, my best friend ( the one n only divine miss marissa ow) n best guy friend (mr chok) are still ard. but den again. they haf their own stuff to do i cant let em babysit me all the time. so this is IT. ladies n gentlemen, this blog is the spawn of a frustrated, immensely conflicted and just so fucking bored me.

the usual suspect said::

12/22/2003 02:27:00 PM :D

gracie lou freebush
miss artful dodger
1986
st.nicks/cjc/nus theatre studies
//
Let each man exercise the art he knows.
Aristophanes

The drama is not dead but liveth
and contains the germs of better things.
-william archer

• mar
• sab
• vic
• vern
• cole
• e*an
• isaac
• bryanboy
• thesuperficial
• thesartorialist
• perez hilton
• sea of shoes
• karlascloset
• anonymousworks/

is this the real life?
is this just fantasy?
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality
open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
-queen

skin by lomographylove[:
inspiration: 001